Starting small

Size doesn't matter. Or does it? As a society, we tend to be obsessed with size: the largest crowd, the biggest building, or the grandest canyon. We supersize our meals, build bigger homes, and drive bigger vehicles. Is it any wonder why I tend to think big? Often, when brainstorming at work, I tend to suggest things that are grandiose and involved. When I begin with the end in mind, my thoughts dream of something big and complicated. I need colleagues to rein me in and provide some scaffolding to help us get to this larger end product. I admit that sometimes I would be frustrated having to wait. Like many people in our country and our world, the events in Charlottesville weigh on my mind. How does one learn to be so hating, so devoid of compassion or understanding for other humans? Why do people feel threatened by differences? Xenophobia, racism, and misogyny fuel much of the violence. What can we do about this? There have been all sorts of options. Do we counter-protest and face off wherever hatred rears up in order to help delegitimize it? Do we ignore it and not allow the hatred to have a space and a voice? Or, as one post suggested, do we throw glitter at the Nazis? History seems to suggest that if we ignore the hatred, it gets more powerful. I am still of the belief that the pen is mightier than the sword; I still believe that love overshadows hate; I still put stock in Gandhi's approach. (Source: www.thefamouspeople.com/profiles/images/mahatma-gandhi-33.jpg)

I recognize that I am responsible for my own actions and as such, I need to work on my corner of the world. On Aug. 3rd, I brought my bike in for repairs in Madison. I was told it would be done on the 9th but since I was out of town I didn't stop to pick it up until the 14th. It wasn't done and the part wasn't ordered! I was sad....and angry. There were three other instances since the 14th that caused issues with getting my bike fixed. There was miscommunication and more delays. With the last straw, I informed the shop that they lost me as a customer. I came home and wrote an angry post to a local biking facebook page that has 888 followers. However, I chose to delay posting the message. I have been learning to step back and refrain from knee-jerk reactions. Instead, I sent it to the repair manager with whom I've been working. I told him I had not decided whether to post it. I meditated for a while and realized that I am part of the problem. My anger got the best of me. Several mistakes were made that kept my bike from me. I reflected on things from the manager's perspective. He has new employees and he is working to help them learn. I feel a bit like a hypocrite for not embracing the notion that failing leads to learning. I emailed the manager with an apology for my anger and that I decided that submitting the post would be wrong on my end. I realize that it is one thing to promote kindness over anger but it is more challenging to practice it. If we want a compassionate world, we need to practice compassion. Yesterday I received further communication from the manager. His words and tone were both kind. In his reply, he let me know that he is the single father of three girls and that they are in their 'mistake-prone' years. He tries to teach them to use their mistakes as learning experiences. And like me, he said that he learned from this experience. This experience reminded me that when I first started in education, there was a small plaque on the wall in the office: "If we always do what we've always done, we'll always get what we always got." I'm not happy with what we seem to be getting in the world. Therefore, I can't do what I've always done. I believe that size does matter. And the size that matters most is small. I need to continue with small change; I need to start with self. In order to develop my best self, I need to pay attention to the myriad of little opportunities each day to be positive and compassionate. Instead of "GO BIG OR GO HOME" I say, "go small and love home".

Teaching empathy is challenging. How do we learn to see things from another's perspective? How do we learn to appreciate and internalize the struggle of another being?

(Source: static.wixstatic.com/media/5418ac_5898fa3a0355496f9c70a2d3351d72db~mv2.jpg)