Expectations

Expectations vs. reality. They have been headlining together forever and it seems that reality almost always wins. We tend to look forward to events, plan our lives, and have high hopes, only to be left wanting. Perhaps I am a pessimist? I am curious if others experience the same feelings. Do things often meet the expectations you have for them? One example is with books or movies. If someone tells me that I have to see a movie or read a book because it is fantastic or amazing then I am expecting that will be the resulting feeling for me. Anything short of that feeling is a disappointment. When people ask me how something was I try to temper my enthusiasm. I'll try to withhold even saying that I liked or disliked something as even that wimpy judgment can lead to expectations. When recently asked about a movie I saw, the best I could admit to was that I thought it was worth seeing. I have learned that if I expect to have a lousy time somewhere, often I end up enjoying myself as things weren't as bad as I imagined them. Sometimes I am admonished for being a downer. I like to think I'm just hedging my bets.

In my last blog, I wrote about feeling better thinking my kidney stone saga was over. I planned to cancel my doctor appointment but a friend wisely suggested that I keep it just to be certain. I went to my appointment with the expectation I would be given the all clear. Instead, I was told that I have a large stone lodged in my ureter. This was not the news I thought I'd hear and one of the reasons that I cried. At work, is it too much to expect that my students read and follow directions? Shouldn't completing assigned tasks be a given? Is part of my struggle with my profession actually based in expecting too much from the youth of today? Life is hard. We all have expectations of how things should be or how we want them to be. Unfortunately, there are no "shoulds". Comparing reality to our expectations can lead to sadness, frustration and anger. So what is the solution? Attempting to live in the moment and appreciate the here and now seems to help. If I'm truly in the moment, then I can focus on present feelings without predicting future feelings. Is this realistic? If you are a frequent reader of my blog, perhaps you were expecting more clear thinking, more unified writing, or pictures that matched the topic more completely. Hopefully you weren't disappointed with expectations of more. Be well.