Mantras

Life is good. It is. However, we all reach points in our life where we need to remind ourselves of this. My favorite t-shirts come from the Life is Good ® company. I bought the book written by the founders and I love their story! With one order, I received the little card to the left. I have this taped on my mirror so I see it every morning when I wake up and every night when I go to bed.

Sadly, a common thread over the last few weeks of my blog has been my kidney stone. Hopefully, this is the final installment talking about this tiny, tiny part of me. Surgery on Wednesday went well, I guess. I was knocked out. And apparently, the doctor doesn't come out to talk with whomever you have there for you in the waiting area. My friend who was with me received text updates but no face-to-face explanation. This seems very odd and impersonal. Modern medicine, I guess. But life is good. We live in a time where science has advanced enough to attend to our health needs. I recognize that I am privileged to have access to health care. This was my fourth stone, but my first time with the procedure. Given the complications that resulted, I'll say this is also my last time with this procedure. (Hopefully it is my last kidney stone but I learned from when x-ray that I already have another waiting deeper in my kidney. Great.) I have a stent still in place in my ureter and that won't come out for four more days. I'll spare anyone reading this the details but I have been uncomfortable and unable to work. Being a teacher in the weeks up to a break can prove challenging. I feel guilty that my wonderful colleagues have been stepping up on my behalf. I should be there. I get very frustrated and down on myself when others have to do my work.

As I have been dealing with the highs and lows of my recovery, I have struggled to remain positive. I thought about mantras and how important it is to have short phrases that can assist us in remaining even keel or perhaps right us when we are listing. In conversations with my father over the years, when I was having difficulties in life, he would often say, "This too shall pass." I decided to include that phrase in my list of mantras and I was slightly amused when I saw that this graphic to the right popped up in my search. Fitting! In the throes of darkness, we often believe that negative situations are permanent. Reminding ourselves of the fleeting nature of conflict or sadness can be all it takes to regain control on the downward spiral staircase that seems to beckon to us at times. Not everything passes quickly or easily, but there is almost always improvement.

I often find that if I have something on the calendar to look forward to then I can do a better job of navigating the tougher times, knowing that it will simply be a passage of time until I am in a better place, sometimes mentally, sometimes spiritually, or sometimes geographically. As much as I am struggling right now, I know that a week from today, my birthday, for the second year in a row, I will fly to New York to have dinner with my daughter and spend the holidays with her. The light this gives me is brighter than any star on top of a seasonal tree.

My physical and emotional pain is a reminder to me that we all struggle. Every day. I know I need to do a better job of practicing kindness to those around me. My own struggles seemed to have comsumed me of late. When I lost my job rather tragically 4.5 years ago, I made a stack of 3 x 5 cards with quotes and sayings that pulled me up. When I would find myself in tears at the desk of my new job, missing my friends and feeling devalued, I would rifle through the cards and find a phrase that comforted me, allowing me to move forward. I have lost track of where I put those cards. I have decided to create a new stack of phrases, quotes, mantras, and sayings that will help me to navigate my own journey but more importantly, focus more on those around me. Consider this an appeal to share what words work for you. One additional note: This is my 25th weekly blog. While it is uncharacteristic for me to follow through in such a fashion, I am proud that I have. Thanks for being one of my small group of readers.