Time passages

Today my brother turns 60. He and my sisters are in Hawaii and took this picture in Maui, overlooking the ocean. As much as I would have liked to be there, it just wasn't possible. Instead, I added myself to the photo. This made me feel like I was with them in spirit. I also somehow feel older now that I have a sibling who is 60. I have fond memories of traveling to Hawaii as a family in 1972 to visit our cousins.

Having an older brother growing up was nice. We middle children aren't always trailblazers and having someone go through school four years before me helped so that I had a better idea of what to expect. David was an excellent student and a good role model for me. Although, the added pressure filtered down sometimes. In high school I didn't always apply myself as I perhaps could have. I took challenging classes and took every math class that I could but I wouldn't say that I was driven. I remember one teacher calling me out in front of the entire class with a loudly bellowed, "Good god Larsen, why aren't you more like your brother?!" Obviously we are two different people and the teacher was way out of line in saying this. However, it stuck with me and I vowed never to do this as a teacher. In fact, I never ask a student about a sibling unless they mention the person first.

I roomed with my brother some growing up and from what I recall, we got along. He was far neater than I was. The family joke is evident in most family photos. His clothes are neat and fresh looking, I look like I was just in a fight. We also roomed together one year in college. I was in my second year of my undergrad and he was in medical school. I still remember going out with friends on a Friday night and coming home late, only to find Dave and some of his classmates still looking at slides of various cells. The famous histology parties! I admire his dedication and work ethic. Seeing my father work in the medical profession and knowing my brother chose the same path was special. The commitment it takes to become a physician is staggering. I knew this profession was never in my cards. The caring approach with which all of my siblings brought to their work is admirable.

I admit to being lonely in Manitowoc without my family here. Most of my friends are married or have families and I don't want to intrude or be a third or fifth wheel. I decided to crop my siblings into a photo of me along the Lake Michigan shore. It is probably more accurate that I wish they were here with me in Manitowoc than me with them in Hawaii.

And as long as I'm wishing, there are times that I'd like to go back to when we were growing up. I don't know where the original photo of the four of us in the Sunday School room at church is but here is the recreated photo that we did a few years back. I drove through the old neighborhood earlier this week. We lived there from 1966 - 1972 and I still remember my childhood friends who lived there. These were our Wonder Years and it was a wonderful place to be a kid. Lately I've been finding that I need to remind myself of advice that I gave to my own children: 'Don't be sad that it is over, be happy it happened.' I don't honestly wish to live my life over again; I am happy for all of my experiences thus far. However, the speed of life is too fast. I talked with my parents this afternoon. First my mom, and then my dad. It was wonderful to hear their voices and I was able to tell each of them that I loved them. And then I hung up and had a good cry. In fact, I've been crying on and off ever since. I think it is time to go meditate to quiet my mind.