I am a Bean Counter

This morning I biked into town to run some errands and meet a friend for coffee. I left a little after 6 a.m. and enjoyed the early morning ride. Right away I noticed some beans in my path. In Manitowoc, Lakeside Foods is a major canning company and they lease fields all around the county. At some point since yesterday, a semi full of beans must have gone past my house, lightening its load as it made the trip into town.

If you've read my blog, you know I like numbers and that when I am stressed, I count things. In the 3.5 miles before I turned off the main highway, there were 210 beans in the bike path. Some were flattened, but some looked perfectly fine. It seemed like such a waste! I was imagining scooping them up, taking them home to freeze or can. I was reminded that when I was in elementary school, I had friends who would run out in front of the trucks hauling peas when the trucks were just entering town. The drivers would brake, dislodging some of the produce and after the truck continued on, my friends would go scoop up the free treats. At this time in my life, I hated peas and for that reason alone, I couldn't imagine risking one's life in such a fashion.

I have taught for 29.5 years and if I am being honest, this is probably going to be my most challenging year as an educator. I won't be go into specifics but I have been struggling to right myself and get in a more positive frame of mind. I've been biking along the lake in the morning, hoping some of that magical Lake Michigan air will ease my mind. The phrase that settled in my unsettled brain is, "I am a cog in a wheel of a machine that is being majorly overhauled." Essentially, my profession is changing and changing in ways that I find unnerving. As I continued along on my ride, breathing the cooler morning air, I paused at a few places to think and to snap a few pictures. I came to the conclusion that I need to step back and focus on what I do best, teach. I need to filter out the negative drama. I reminded myself of my favorite line from the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel: "Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end."

I also heard the Rolling Stones playing in my head, "You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometime, you'll find, you get what you need."

My friend Matt, a fellow educator for whom I have the utmost respect, met me for coffee at Jenn's Java this morning. We had a chance to talk shop a bit and that helped as well. Matt was my first student teacher during my third year of teaching. We worked together as team teachers and it was a mutually beneficial arrangement. There is comfort in having such a long-standing connection with someone in your chosen field, whose insights you value.

I also know myself well enough to know that the endorphins that come from exercising do wonders for me. I've been biking more regularly and I haven't driven my car in almost a week. I've also been going on the elliptical in the early evening. I feel that I need to find more balance and having a two-a-day exercise regimen is what I need right now. Besides, my Health Risk Assessment is coming up in less than a month and I have a class reunion next summer. I think it is my 20th or 40th or something. I haven't gone since my 10th and maybe I'll go to this one. Of course, as my friend and former classmate Jon says, "Why would I want to go to a class reunion and hang out with a bunch of old people?!" I think I'll need some more elliptical thinking to decide that one! As I continued to think about the beans and my career I decided to spend the afternoon looking over the social studies standards and reading some Lucy Calkins. As I was knee-deep in trying to think of ways to merge the two, I noticed two scooters in my driveway. I waited and saw that one person had wandered off toward the garden. I went outside to check and there were friends and former principals at Washington, Kathy and Darlene. We had a nice visit as we strolled in the yard and sampled a few tomatoes from the garden. I didn't know they were coming and the timing was perfect for me. As I explained some of my mental state, I thought of how these two instructional leaders have seen so much during their careers and persevered for all of the right reasons. Both have impacted me as an educator and I enjoyed their visit. I'm not a huge believer in divine intervention but just being with them was so comforting. I realized that while I may indeed be a bean counter, I am much more than JUST a bean counter. I have students who need me and need what I can bring. I'll just have to follow Mark Twain's words and not let schooling interfere with the education. Be well.