Path of Perseverance

Giving up is so easy! Usually, it doesn't feel good afterward, but in the thick of things, it is simple to do. As with most times in my life, when I am stressed, I retreat to the solitude of nature. That statement is rather ironic as when I am in nature, there is so much life around me. Usually not human, but life nonetheless.

The other day I did some earthing to de-stress. I did a walkabout in our yard, around the pond, and through the woods. When we bought our home 28 years ago, the two springs ran all year long. With housing development and a mega farm two miles away, I think the water table dropped enough to reduce the pressure. Now, usually by July, the pond dries up a bit. About five years ago, we had some tornado-type winds race through and twisted some of our huge willows and tore off large limbs. But yet, the willows continue to grow. I know I need to be like the willow, bending but not breaking.

This year, as in most years, I planted way too many seedlings. I believe I gave seedlings away to at least eight different people. But yet, I have some pots with tomato seedlings that never made it into the ground. Here we are, the start of autumn, and my tomato plants continue to grow. They aren't giving up. They've been in the shade, relying on rain water and still, one of them has a small tomato growing. These plants are genetically programmed to not give up. If you look closely in the picture to the immediate right, you can see the small tomato. It is located just under the bottom edge of the leaf. The horrible conditions don't matter, it survives.

I don't have any tattoos, but if I did get one, I'd probably get a semicolon.

I learned of Project Semicolon a few years ago. As a then English teacher, I liked what this represented. I am the author of my life and I am choosing to keep going. I'm also intrigued with the Finnish concept of SISU. I don't think the word translates directly but it

means being determined, persevering and having a strong will. I learned of this from one of my sisters and from my cousin's wife, who lost her battle with an illness.

Staying strong in the face of adversity is a challenge. Little reminders can help.

On Sunday, I needed to leave Madison to return to another week of work. As has been the case, I have been overcome with emotion as I prepare to leave. I can't fully put my feelings in to words when I am in the moment and I'm sure this must frustrate those around me. This most recent time, I used voice-to-text to record this poem as I tearfully made my way down the road.

I am Schrodinger's cat

I am everywhere

I am nowhere

I want to be at the Earth home

Walking in the woods

Listening to the rain

Hearing the birds

I want to be in Madison

Biking on the trails

Spending time with Lind

Connecting with family

I want to be in Manitowoc

Meeting up with friends

Sitting along the lakeshore

Working in my garden

I want to be at Dancing Rabbit

Swimming in the pond

Watching glowing fireflies

Basking in the quiet

I want to be everywhere.

All at once.

Enjoying the space

That each has to offer

I want to be with people

I want to be alone

I want to be everywhere

I want to be nowhere

All at the same time,

Sometimes...

I don't want to exist

I don't want to be

I am Schrodinger's cat

If you have read this far, you may be concerned. Do not be. I am safe. Struggling, but safe. On my way home Sunday, I came via Appleton. I met up with the son of some dear friends of mine. We talked in a coffee shop for over two hours, trading ideas and insights

to things we are passionate about. As a result of that conversation, I am now reading Braiding Sweetgrass, by Robin Wall Kimmerer. Robin is a botanist and a descendant of indigenous people. This book intrigues me as it shares the wisdom of plants, confirming my method of looking to the resiliency of the natural world to fuel my own path of perseverance. Be well.